Be a proud oddball! The biggest and most common block to multilingual upbringing

I already wrote about the "killer language" and the need to get the right ammunition to fight it. However, before we start speaking the "ammo and conquest", there is a really important aspect of multilingual parenting/upbringing that needs to be discussed.

Hand on heart, I can say that this aspect has been coming up time and time again when I have met other people attempting the whole multilingual family business. So I feel this needs to be highlighted.

Most of the time the parents and carers who plan or already do try to bring up the kids with another language(s) admit that they are:

a) not confident,
b) shy, or
c) feeling that they stick out/draw attention to themselves, or
d) ashamed

 ...to speak to the child in minority language in public.

Well, let me tell you, if you feel any of the emotions listed above when speaking in public in your language (most of the time minority one), YOU do have a problem. This is because, your child will feel exactly the same about speaking in your/minority language.

Having met many families with minority language/culture background, I can say that children that have been spoken to in minority language under such circumstances, tend to grow up as someone who is only partially bi/multilingual (if that). They will most probably understand the language (and possibly only to certain extend - possibly a limited one) and will not be able to speak it. After all, children only copy the behaviour that is modelled to them. So, it really does start with you.

There are of course strategies and techniques how to overcome the way you feel (and if you feel like that) about yourself speaking in minority language in public. But before I dish those out (in upcoming posts), I would like you to do the following (if you have problems with using the minority language in public).

Please, do take a long, hard look at yourself and ask why you feel:

a) not confident,

b) shy,

c) feeling that you stick out/ draw attention to yourself,or

d) ashamed

to speak the minority language in public. 

(or a "desired minority language" - more on this later ...e.g Albanian as a mother tongue spoken in Arabic speaking country while the children's schooling is done in English).

To increase rates of success of your multilingual parenting/care giving, you need to make sure you are confident, comfortable to stick out and definitely have no shame to speak in minority/desired language in public.

I say, embrace your inner odd ball and do it with a smile.  
Do not try to be someone else - be proud of your language heritage. 

Odd is good
(Parakeet in a park in London, UK) 

People that I have met also mention that they do not want to speak minority language to their children because they fear that other majority speakers present would not understand them. I would like to dedicate a separate post to this issue.


If you feel that you might be experiencing the above emotions above speaking in public in your minority language, come back to this blog as I will be detailing our own coping strategies.